Hands Off Mister!!!!

How therapists should behave when their male clients behave inappropriately

I have decided to approach this subject from a light hearted point of view as I feel that this is the only way it can be dealt with. As a therapist you are more than certainly going to have to deal with at least one perve in your working career, but instead of falling to pieces and turning it into a big drama it is best just to deal with it in the most nonchalant way possible. For some reason we all seem to have to deal with “these clients” at the beginning of our careers and I do find that it is more prevalent when the therapist is young and yes; slightly more attractive, I think the opportunist often feels he will be more successful with a younger, less experienced conquest. But even if you are still inexperienced; by greeting this problem from a place of maturity you will always come out on top. It is going to happen so just take it in your stride and it will always be something you look back on with humor and pity as opposed to sheer terror.

It is always a touchy subject (excuse the pun) but one that comes up (oh goodness the innuendos continue) often and no matter how much we try and get away from it; there is always a connotation in the mind of those few seedy male clients between the services offered at a spa/salon and those at more obscure establishments. I can only put it down what we do using touch and the link between our more sensual counterparts’ service offering. Then add to that a male client with slightly less experience within the spa environment and the actual service we offer and the expectation lines get blurred. We then find ourselves slap bang in one of these uncomfortable situations.

In saying that these situations are however not isolated to massage treatments though– I remember my first encounter with an inappropriate client. I was working on cruise ships and the client came in for a slimming treatment – an electrical one :-0 I explained the treatment and left the room while he changed. When I re-entered he was perched on the chair with the family jewels placed outside of the paper underwear. Being the timid 21 year old that I was, I did not expect to handle it like I did; but I was a soldier. Even when he stood in front of me for me to take the before measurements and it was in my direct eye line; I just breathed through it remained composed and continued the treatment. He managed to get hold of my arm when the “electrocution” phase of the treatment was in full force and give it a little tickle, so needless to say I just turned the machine up and excused myself and went scrub my arm with a metal brush.

So the point I’m making is that no matter how clear you are on your website and in your collateral as well as in the definition of your service offering or even in your pre-treatment consultation there is ALWAYS someone who will overstep the line; a pervert with a suggestive mind that lands on your treatment couch. It always makes you feel uncomfortable and makes you blush 50 of pink when you have to deal with the situation that has arisen right before your very eyes, so best just be prepared. When I say be prepared; it’s not like you need a massive arsenal of heavy machinery or anything like that. It truly is quite simple and I can give it to you in 3 easy steps.

Firstly;

The advances of these said clients are unacceptable so just “shut it down” as it happens. You do not have to get rude; and please DON’T! This will amplify the situation as Creepy Joe is now embarrassed that his advances have been denied. Just be firm and tell him in the most proficient way possible that you are a professional therapist and your treatment is purely therapeutic.

Secondly;

If he keeps it up, give a cooling off period. Inform him that you are going to leave the room for him to compose himself and you will be back in 5 minutes to resume his “PROFESSIONAL” service.

Lastly;

If he continues regardless; you need to advise him that he has now gone too far and you can unfortunately not continue with the treatment. You can advise him to get himself dressed and settle up at reception. I would recommend allowing a more senior staff member to handle to situation from that point onwards. It can often ensue into a he said she said but 9 times out of 10 the gentlemen will just pay and leave and not kick up a fuss to cause further embarrassment.

I do not think that any amount of advice can really prepare you for an experience like this because each is so different from the other. As with any sexual advance – every man’s approach is different. All I can stress is composure, just breathe and remain as mature as you can.

I must stress too that you must not let this article deter you from wanting to treat men…Not all of them are like this and they are loyal clients who need our treatments. It really is a small percentage of males that are still in the old school mentality that we are running a risqué business and not an up market spas and salons. The spa goer of today has matured in general and we encounter less and less the male clients of old that think that we are just undercover “ladies of the night”.

If you are the owner of a spa or salon please be sure to have a set protocol in place to deal with these situations. Your staff must feel supported by you above all when they are confronted with an inappropriate client. It gives them the confidence to deal with them in the right way and deters them from blowing anything out of proportion.